Wednesday, August 27, 2014

dreams and missing him

I think I've mentioned before that I have very detailed dreams.  A lot of times they are like watching science fiction or horror movies.  Sometimes they are just plain weird.  One thing they are always is exhausting.  Confusing.  And I usually remember them vividly.  Last night I had a dream that was weird and confusing and also had a few food combinations that I feel I should try.  Peanut butter and jelly on chocolate chip cookie bread - yes!

At the beginning of the dream Scott was alive.  And he was standing behind me and I was leaning on him.  Such a comforting, secure feeling.  That warmth supporting me, knowing that he had my back, literally.  And then the dream changed and he was in a plane crash and died but no one else was even injured and I was so confused how that could happen.  And, then I painted myself neon fuschia.  Huh.  And then it got even more weird and confusing ending with a dessert buffet.

But that feeling, I really miss that feeling.  The security.  I think that part of the dream came about because I was thinking yesterday that I miss the no judgement discussions we'd have.  About politics, religion, everything!  And yes I also miss the physical security.  I wasn't afraid with him around.  He was the biggest, baddest, coolest dude anywhere.

Anyway, no real point here - just life I guess.  That's what's happening on Wednesday at my house.  Oh, yesterday was "dog day" so I let Joey run around naked!  No cone and since his cone is attached to his collar, no collar!  He was a free dog!  

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