Tuesday, February 25, 2014

family weekend

Let's see, what do I feel like talking about?  First, this past weekend I drove down to Chico to visit my Mom and be a witness for my best friend's convalidation at the Catholic church which is basically like renewing of vows.  I got to be at their original wedding also so it was really dear to my heart. It also happened to be their 15 year anniversary, so it was  a really special thing that I got to witness.  The weather could not have been more beautiful!  I left 40-50 degrees, it was sunny the whole drive and then getting into town it was 62!  It was great. I know that they are hurting for rain but I was really glad to have a taste of Spring.

Two things I can always be sure of when I visit my Mom, there will be fabric and there will be thrift stores.  Friday afternoon we went to Goodwill and it was intense!  Compared to Klamath, Chico is like a big city.  So their Goodwill store is not bigger than ours really but a TON more stuff!  We took at least an hour to get through the aisles with the housewares, holiday decor, books, toys.  

I found some great deals.  I got a food processor for $10, it turns out it's missing the S-blade but the grater and slicer work great.  I will use it for grating soap to make laundry soap.  I found a ton of little crafty items.  The best part was that I found some toy dinosaurs! I really surprised Mom with that one :) But, I saw an idea on pinterest and want to try it out, it requires toy dinosaurs.  I'll let you know how it turns out!

Saturday was the ceremony, and afterwards we went to lunch.  Then, I dragged Mom to the park and made her sit with me while I knitted.  I love to do that, make her sit still for a little bit and just chat.  Then we drove to Durham to see the orchards in bloom.  It was beautiful!  There is an overpass that you drive up so you're above the trees and when you look out it is a sea of pink white blossoms.  Perfect.

I got to do a little "shopping" in Mom's sewing room where she has loads of fabric.

Looking at this stack you'd think I was in a green mood!  Lots of really fun prints in there.  This is fresh out of the dryer so it's pretty wrinkled and you can't really see everything.

This brown is probably my favorite.  It's got little lucky items scattered all over it.  So whimsical, very vintage.  I love it.  Will be saving this for something extra special.
 I took my boys with me and boarded them at the Meridian Kennels.  I just like being able to have them with me for the trip.  Joey loves the vet boarding here in town but Rocky doesn't.  I think he does okay once I'm gone but he acts like he's been really stressed out when I get home.  This kennel has a nice outdoor fenced yard area and I know that is a little more comfortable for him.  Joey loves it there too.  The picture above is them in the back seat, laying nose to paw.  Rocky slept the entire drive home.  I'm afraid he's actually turning into an old dog.  As far as I know he's at least 11 years old.  We've had him for 9 years and we don't know how old he was when we got him but we estimated 2-2 1/2. Joey is 8.5.  I hate to think of them getting old.

So, I have a triumph to report.  I read my first whole book since Scott died almost 11 months ago!  I took Divergent with me on a whim just in case I felt like reading.  Saturday night I started it and before I knew it was 1/2 way through!  I finished it last night, now I need to buy the next 2 in the series!  

Monday, February 10, 2014


Today was one of those days that I could not wait to get home.  From the time I woke up and got ready for work I was already longing to be home...back in pj's and having an evening at home with my boys.  Lunchtime I was like "I've made it halfway".  And, after work I didn't even run to the store even though I'm out of sugar and woefully low on toilet paper.  Locking the door behind me I felt the best feeling - relief!  I made it through another day.  I am now home, safe.

Some days I feel like I am crawling out of my skin.  There is an uneasiness I have that wasn't there before.  A fear, a dread.  I feel melancholy creep up on me.  Today at the office an ambulance was called for a patient.  I heard the siren approaching and watched the EMT's walk by with an AED which is a mobile defibrillator.  I wasn't there when Scott died so I can only imagine the people who tried to save his life, even though it was clear he was gone. I thought today, how did they feel when they left?  After not succeeding. After seeing a young man, possibly their own age, die?  Do they still think of him?  My mind screams out against these images.  But, when I'm at my place of employment I can't exactly scream, run away or even freak out.  So I numbly pretended to be busy.

At home, I am safe.  I didn't always like this house because Scott had never lived here with me.  I resented this house, I felt exiled and lonely and scared.  I still feel that a lot, but the house has become a comfort.  I'm renting and the owner has been kind to me, accepting of my boys and me.  Now it has become my refuge from the world.  A world that feels foreign and a little bit scary.

I did get some good news today.  The ladies I used to have bible study with are getting back together and we're starting a new study.  I offered my house for the first night.  It feels like a lifeline has been thrown to me and I can't wait to get started.  I desperately need God and a bible study to focus me.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

new quilt start

First square of a new quilt :)  This is actually just a test square to see if I like the square size.  Back in the summer I bought this book, Simply Retro by Camille Roskelley.  There were a few patterns that I liked in it but wasn't really ready to start a new quilt.  One of the patterns I liked was this one, Little Wheels I think it's called.  Then last week I was surfing the blogs as I do and came across Blue Elephant Stitches and she had made that pattern but modified the size.  Honestly I hadn't paid any attention to the size of the blocks in the pattern since I wasn't ready to start a new quilt!  I really like the colors she's put together, it reminds me of the granny square quilt I made awhile ago, which actually I think the pattern/tutorial was also from that blog!

I'm not sure yet what my color scheme is going to be or if I will even try to make it cohesive or just go with a mix like the granny square one.  Here's the granny square quilt to refresh since I think it's been a looooong time since I wrote about it.

Right now I'm digging on the white center....but wondering if I might play a bit with a contrasting center square.  What do you think?  Oh the possibilities!

BTW I did pull out another UFO (unfinished object) and put it up on the wall and then remembered exactly why it was put away to begin with!  Uggg.  I really just don't like small squares, like ones less than 7 inches.  They are just fussy and annoying!  So I'm toying with ideas to try and salvage that quilt because I do like the bigger squares already made.  I'm thinking make the squares a centerpiece and add borders?  Or maybe just take out about 1/2 of the small fussy squares and replace with solid?  IDK yet.

Monday, February 3, 2014

ami cutie

Right.  So, remember this post about the crochet amigurumi that I started?  Well I finally finished it Thursday night! And I have to say I think it's pretty darn cute!
So I was supposed to have it in the mail by Wednesday, whoops!  I blame "widow brain"!  I had it in my mind that Friday was the day to send it, even though the 29th was Wednesday.  I don't know why I thought that.  I did message the lady I was sending to, did not tell her it was from widow brain, I didn't want to freak her out!  I did add a couple extras that I thought she'd like :)  

Aaaaaaaand Saturday this is what I received: 

There's a ton of stickers and some washi type tape and the amiguruimi is a seahorse.  

Saturday, February 1, 2014

my own swiss army knife

I bought myself something that I don't even really need!  That never happens, right?  LOL or always does....could be either.  So as per usual I was blog surfing and in the sidebar there was a little box of instagram pictures and I spied this super cute swiss army knife!  Bah!  I had to have it :) so I found a website with free shipping and it arrived today.  Scott loved swiss army knives and had several.  I had never even heard of Victorinox before but he knew all about it.  I don't know why I didn't keep one of his knives, but at the time probably thought I didn't need it. (as with everything that I'm now kicking myself about)   But! This one is more "me" than one of his would have been and I know he would think that it's cool I have my own :)  Isn't it cute?
(this is the back view)