Friday, September 5, 2014

dog lady

Well friends, it's possible I've crossed into the realm of the crazy dog lady.  Not because I have a million dogs or anything.....I made a snood for Joey :)  Today was a rather rough day for me.  I felt groggy and tired all day.  Then, took the pooper in the vet to have the rest of his sutures removed from his ear and she tells me that all of his lymph nodes are enlarged.  And have I noticed if he's lost any weight?  He's 10 and may be an indication of lymphoma.  Or infection.  Or allergic reaction.  I mean - ugh!  I got to the car before I started to cry.  I reeeeeaaallly couldn't handle hearing that today.  I got him home, pulled myself together and made an appt for tomorrow morning to have blood drawn.  Start with the first step, right?

So I got home after work and I thought I'd make him a little snood to maybe control the ear flapping a bit.  I thought, I need to use some "boy" fabric, and I had bought this fun guitar fabric that also looks a little camo-ey that I had originally bought to make pajama pants for Scott.  I don't know if it's really going to work.  So far he does good with it running around but then has rolled on the bed and worked it down around his neck.  I'll see if I can somehow get the elastic a bit tighter around the head.  Hmmmmm.

In other news, last weekend I was talking with Mom and realized I hadn't really shown much about this current quilt I've been working on!  Whoops.  So I started it awhile ago on a whim and then lost interest in it.  I've been calling it the 'Rainy Day' quilt in my head.  The day I started it it actually was rainy and the colors remind me of grey rain clouds, a bit of blue peeking through, dark rain clouds and a  bit of sunshine every little bit.  The pink is just because I thought it needed a bit.  

Each square is 9.25 x 9.25 so I have been up in the air about what I want the finished size to be.  I think 72 x 81?  That's what I'm aiming for right now.  The light is not great in the picture, but you get the idea. 
Yesterday was the 4th of the month which marked 16 months since Scott died.  The 4th of any month is still pretty raw for me.  Yesterday I did really well though.  I had run out of my usual yogurt for breakfast so I grabbed some cheese curds and then realized as I was eating them that that was something he loved and had introduced me to.  Then, when I got home from work there was a package from Amazon.  I thought it might be a book on tape that I had ordered but it was a Sherlock Holmes episode I had forgot I ordered!  Another thing he loved and introduced me to.  I've come to a point where I can feel like these are little nods, reminders, hellos from him.  

People always say that he's not really gone, he lives on in my heart.  Perhaps these little things along with my memories are what they mean.  I'd rather think that he's in heaven and isn't bothered at all by Earth and it's struggles any longer.  But some days it's nice to also think that he's saying hello and love you from beyond.  

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