If I've learned anything from this past weekend it is this: I do NOT appreciate iron on adhesive! I read somewhere to use iron on adhesive to keep whatever you are going to applique in place while you sew. What I discovered is that my sewing machine did not agree with this! The needle got so gummy even though I kept trying to wipe it off and every inch or so the thread would break off! Grrr. I thought maybe I'll hand stitch the flowers - ummmm two hours later decided that was also a no-go. In the end pulled the flowers off, recut them and appliqued with the fleurs pinned well. Aaaah, problem solved. Still not sold on the zig-zaggy applique look, but not bad. The 9-patches were super easy as they required no extra maintenance and was just a straight stitch. Overall I like the look of the back.
Next step is the quilting. Originally I thought I'd tie embroidery thread or possibly ribbon (?) in the little squares on the front, then straight machine stitch on the borders. Now not sure because I feel that the tension from tying will be looser than if I machine quilt. But, I have thread color and stitch-line-up issues between the front and back so I think I'll just stare at it a few more days. :)
So, I've been knocking something around in my noggin. Thinking of borders, what will look best, what will work best - has got me thinking of boundaries. In general, in my life. I've been working something out with God - this is definitely a work in progress! I have a tendency to feel "caged in" when I feel like I might be doing something wrong and need to cut that thing out. For example magazines at the newsstand. Frankly, there's really nothing "wrong" with the magazine. But, I find that I'm reading things about people's lives that may or may not be true and could be intrusive. It's a form of gossip and God and I have been working on me and gossip. But......when I felt a little nudge to stop, say reading the mag - I felt hemmed in. Like when our cows have gotten out and they see you coming and they deliberately turn the other direction not because it's good for them or because the other direction is safer but because they don't want to be caught. Next step is denial - I'm not doing anything wrong! Next step is justification - there's nothing wrong with this, I'm not hurting anyone, I am allowed to read a magazine for crying out loud! And continue on reading like I never even heard (or felt) that still, small voice and conviction. Hmmmmphf.
So really, why are there boundaries with God??? I've heard over and over and over and over (broken record people!) that there is safety under His covering. But, I wasn't buying it. How could denying myself be something good??? Aha. There it is - state of mind. If I approach something feeling like I am missing out on something totally fabulous - I am being deceived. Mostly all of the time I am not missing out on anything. In the case of a magazine I compare myself and my life situation with those in the magazine, completely unrealistic, but I do. It is not immediately obvious, but in turn this affects my self esteem in a negative way. That subject alone is it's own separate rant and I'll spare you from it. Suffice it to say that if I had listened to the advice from God I would have saved myself that heartache.
It's not like I have everything figured out over here. Not even close. I just want to share a little bit of the struggles I have so that maybe others can know that when you become a Christian you do not automatically have it figured out, there are still struggles and we are faaar from perfect. I know that tons and millions of people hear Christian and equal that to hypocrite. For myself, I am trying not to label anyone anything, I don't want to point a finger anywhere else but at myself. I am just trying to share so that maybe someone else might relate and find hope. Yes, people are hypocrites - but God is not.
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