Everything, EVERYTHING reminds me of him! I was just commenting on a blog about the new Sherlock and I was *this* close to writing that my husband loved Sherlock Holmes and that's how I started to like it also......I guess I could have written that but somehow feel I'm not ready to write about him in the past tense if that makes any sense? At almost 10 months I know that it is now past tense but he is still in everything in my mind, my life that is still feels so present tense. I feel like he is still so alive to me, I haven't accepted that he truly is gone. I look for him everywhere. I still want to tell him about everything that happens during a day or when something cool or dumb or anything happens.
Growing up I always love "oldies" music from the 50's and 60's. I always loved the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers....it always pricked something in my heart, touched a longing there that I wasn't always aware of. Then the movie Ghost came out in the 90's (?) I think and the song was made popular again. Scott and I never had a song that was "our song", mostly because our likes changed so much, so we have more like a song for each period of time. Like when we were dating there was a song that will always remind me of that time. Well, when Scott was in Korea Leanne Rimes did a remake of Unchained Melody and that song was back on the radio a lot again. Not sure why but I listened to that song last night and so many memories attached to it, and I have such a longing for him in my heart. And I think maybe I still feel like he's going to come home, he's just been deployed or something like when he was in Korea. I don't know, I know I don't make much sense.
Mostly I just miss him so much. I wish he were still here and we could be watching the new Sherlock together and then discussing it, like we did with the first 2 seasons. I'm really enjoying it and think it's so clever and Benedict Cumberbatch is so intriguing - in case you were wondering. I think that's what I miss the most today - someone who cares to know what I think about a tv show. Or anything. Not just care but be here and exchange conversation, expression, love, laughter.
As always. I know there is nothing you or anyone can say to make me feel better. There will be no feeling better, I have my ups and downs and that is completely normal. Right now I'm just down. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully the sun will be out.
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