Flipping my pillow

You know how sometimes your pillow can get uncomfortable? You get into bed and it has conformed to the shape of your head so there's a little bit of a lump, and if you've been laying on it for awhile it gets hot? So, you turn over thinking it could be that side of your head and you might be comfortable on your other side anyways. But, you're not. You put your hand under the pillow and there is a coolness under there and it feels good. Suddenly you realize you need to flip your pillow! It feels cool and nice under your cheek, and no lump! Finally, you can rest.

Spiritually, this is how I was feeling before last weekend. I am not a morning person so I have been neglecting my morning devotionals. I do go to a Tuesday night bible study and read my bible during the week and go to church but it just wasn't feeling right. I felt "icky". I would feel good after church and hopeful that this week would be better, I can turn my bad attitude around. But no, I couldn't.

I had been so excited to go see Beth Moore because I have done her studies and really like her style. She makes sense to me. But, when I got there I realized that I was really looking forward to hearing what God had to say to me through her! And boy, did He ever! I felt like the study was tailored just for me and my life situations! My heart grew so heavy as I realized exactly how I have been, and remembering past hurts. She said that by dwelling on past hurts you are really in a sense worshipping them instead of God. Whoa! That is the last thing I want to do! And that we need to discipline ourselves and get control of our minds! Also, God entrusted us with gifts and we need to use them to bring glory to His kingdom. It was so funny, at one point she was talking about being disciplined with our devotions in the morning (!) and that some of us use the excuse "I'm just not a morning person" and she was like, Get Real! That is totally me! My friend Kristin looked straight over at me when she said that. My mind is still spinning with all of the things that I learned. I'm not exactly sure what my gifts are yet (my husband says I have patience) and how I can use my past hurts constuctively. Maybe I can help someone else who has been in the same situation I have? I don't know, but what I DO know is that I can't do it on my own! The awesome thing is that God is there with me, to help me "flip my pillow" so to speak! This past week (except today) I have gotten up early and put on some worship music and prayed and read my bible. And I have felt that cool refreshment that can only come from the lord!
Okay, I know the picture is blurry - she moves a lot!