Saturday, November 7, 2015

a bit of blah

I have a bit of a rant I need to get out this morning.  Sorry about it.  But, also, not sorry.  I am only sorry because if maybe you expect to only read knitty/quilty/stitchy stuff you may be disappointed by my blog.

But anyway!  A comment a friend made to me last night that was made totally in love has gotten under my skin.  I'm not upset at her one bit, truly.  I'm trying to make a hard decision and did ask for her opinion and she gave it.  The beginning of the statement came out like: I can see as a single woman how.....

The truth of the damn thing is what's got me.  I am a single woman.  I never wanted to be that.  I know that people say women can do anything a man can.  Sure - but not me.  I don't know how to fix things.  I don't know how to spot problems.  I am not strong enough to move items.  So what does a single lady do?  They call people to fix it for them.  They pay.  They feel like they've asked too much of their friends.  Well, this lady feels that way anyway.

The thing is, Scott could fix anything.  Anything.  Something broke and he'd know what was wrong and he'd fix it.  Cars, washing machines, dishwashers, lawnmowers, sewing machines, you name it and he could figure it out.  He could build things.  He also had a way of explaining things and just being that calming force that I need.  I miss him all the time.  Every day.  But times like these it is glaring how alone I am and how much awesomeness I'm missing.

I have great friends.  People who do look out for me.  I am so thankful for that.  I just don't want to be a burden, you know?

I already feel better just typing this out.  So, thanks for listening (or reading).  It really does help to journal thoughts and feelings and I can type faster than I can write :)

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