I feel like a sponge that can't absorb any more.
So. Reunion: holy crazy cow. I guess I just live in my world that is quiet and naive. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I definitely don't do drugs. The reunion was a cacophony of all those things mixed with music, food, nerves and friends. Just a lot. I was happily surprised that I had a good time. I only cried once. Only tried to escape a couple times, hahahaha. Missing Scott is always in my head, in my heart. I wanted him by my side so badly! I wished if he wasn't that I could say he was working or couldn't make it for some reasonable excuse - anything other than having to say that my husband died a little over 2 years ago.
Here's a couple pics of two friends I hadn't seen for years!
Top photo is my friend Michalyn (Mikie) and me. We were super close all through Junior high and high school.
Next photo is my friend Matt and me. I have known Matt since elementary school! This picture cracks me up because for some reason I didn't put my water glass down?! hahaha
So one of my 3 sisters in law was visiting for a bit and it was so, so nice. We had a fun time together. Scott was the oldest so I've known her since she was 8 or 9 and she is 27 now. So many shared memories, experiences and comfort. We could talk about our lives with no explanations, no judgement. We really packed a lot into the weeks she was here and it was perfect. She is one of Scott's sisters so being able to talk about him was a relief. Someone who not just knew him but loves him. Also! We both love the Anne of Green Gables movies. So cool.
In the midst of processing all these things going on I had a conversation with a friend that I wish had gone so differently. One thing I've learned in this widowed journey I'm on is that people don't think before they talk. They ask horridly inappropriate questions with no thought to my feelings. Like, how was our marriage, what was going on when he died, did he ever cheat on me, why didn't we have kids, why don't I have kids on my own since we had wanted them. I felt like I had been attacked. I did not have the wherewithal to say what I should have which is none of those things is anyone's business and if I want to tell anyone anything then I will be the one to say it. I tried to deflect and keep it light because for crap's sake I was still trying to be NICE!
So. That's how my weekend went. And the office is a little chaotic with the new computer system but it's not as bad as it could be. I am very much looking forward to the weekend where I have nothing planned! ha! I am looking forward to putting my house back together and sewing, knitting, stitching.
Oh! Something cool! To end on a good note :) My bible study and I organized a rummage sale that raised almost $2000 that we donated to Teen Parent Life which is an organization through Youth for Christ. It was hard work but so worth it.
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