Saturday, February 14, 2015

love day

 Yesterday I was dreading today.  I've never really liked Valentine's day....Scott and I always felt it was commercial and stupid.  But, you know, others really love the stupid day.  Or feel like they have to live up to some "romantic" expectation.  So, with that there were ladies getting flowers at work yesterday and the day before.  Which, to me just meant that it was for show.  But anyway, not my point.  I was dreading today because my love is gone from this world.

But, I woke up and had an urge to clean.  Which, you know when you feel that you just gotta do it because who knows when that urge will come back, right?  So I felt like I was giving myself a gift because I feel so much less anxious/stress when there isn't clutter.  And then the sun came up and is shining and almost Spring temps.  And my boys are so sweet.  Yes, Joey still has lymphoma and who knows how much longer I'll have - but he's here and I love him and he's sweet as can be.

And I came over to the computer and read this post on Widow's Voice and I was like yeah!  If you don't click over just let me tell you the gist - that even though our husbands are not here their love remains.  The cards they wrote are still true.  That love is still there.  Here's a quote from Rebecca that I feel not only applies today but every day (for me): "The gifts that he brought to my life are still here and will be with me forever.  The person I am today is because he loved me."

I am who I am because of me, yes, but also a collaboration of the love that Scott, my family, my friends, God, my dogs, cat.  So, doesn't that make it so much better?  If I look at this day in that way then I am surrounded by love, even if those people I love are not physically here with me.  And, I do have some really sweet puppies (and George) who are here!  As for flowers, the daffodils are almost blooming....and the tulips are growing!  So God and nature have delivered.  

So there's that.  In other news, I finally finished a book!!!!!!! oh yeah.  Took me 10 months to read the Hobbit and I loved it.  I had not read any Tolkien previously so his writing style was a nice surprise.  He is very descriptive but not overly wordy which I appreciate.  I love the story and his Hobbity dialogue.  I also started a new book, The Scorch Trials which is the 2nd book in the Maze Runner series.  I didn't read the first book but just watched the movie so thought I'd just go on to the second one.  So far it's been a quick read, the chapters are short so I really feel like I'm getting further than maybe I am.  I am encouraged with this though, maybe my reading attention span is back?  Surely hope so.

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