putting the craft room together

I am so, so close to being completely finished with the craft room!!!  I did take a "before" picture that is hairy scary!  Usually when I tell people I have a lot of stuff and that it's all over the place I can tell they don't really know what I mean, or think I'm exaggerating.  The mess I had was not an exaggeration, lol!

As you can see, I had stuff everywhere!  I had boxes brimming with stuff, stacks of stuff to organize.  I just took it one box at a time, and pretty soon you could start to see more of the floor.

Last weekend I also realized that I still had not put the light switch cover back on from when I painted.  In every room of the house the switches are different colors.  Like my bedroom has all white switches, the spare oom has cream colored switches.  The sewing room has cream colored covers and it was kind of old looking.  I thought about covering it with fabric, but instead did scrapbook paper and mod podge.  It turned out super cute!  And, if I get tired of it, I can re-do it.

This view is looking in from the doorway.

Here is the view standing by the window looking straight back.  You can see that I have a double closet with huge floor to ceiling doors.  I decided to use the door space like another wall.  Not sure if you can really tell but I did paint the corkboard a violet color, one of my favorites.  I plan to put mini quilts around in the open space.

This view is standing over by the bookcase looking towards the door.  I put my design wall on that wall.  My super fancy design wall is two table cloths that have the fuzzy backing.  I bought these on clearance for a total of $5!

I have my sewing table right in the middle of the room.  That way there is room to walk around the table to cut, and also table space for quilting.

This view is standing at the closet looking towards the window.  On the left is my yarn stash.  On the right bookcase are my scrapbooks, notions, and patterns.

I'm including this picture for my Mom in case she reads this post.  This was her dolly growing up I believe?  Well, I put it through the wash last weekend and she came through really well!  I need to get more wool yarn for her hair, that was the one thing that sort of frayed.  Isn't she cute though???

I finally got a lily bloom!!!!  I am so loving these lilies in the front flower bed.  These will definitely be staying.

It's such a relief to have the craft room put together.  I am finally feeling like I can sew in there.  I have a million ideas.  While Mom was visiting she remarked that there are bits of my creativity in every room.  It was so nice of her to notice because that really has been my goal.  I've wanted to fill my home with things I've made, that make me happy and others feel comfortable and welcome.  It has been soothing for me.

I've tried not to talk about losing my husband as much here lately.  But, this year being an election year....and all the horrid things going on in the world right now....make me miss him more.  He was my safety zone.  My person to talk politics with that would not get angry or defensive, or misunderstand me.  I don't always know how to say what I mean.  And lately the daily headlines hurt my heart - every one of them.  Knowing that another family is now knowing the heart wrenching loss that I have and in the public eye, with people commenting on either end when really their hearts are broken....it's too much sometimes.  I pray for peace, love, understanding for everyone.

a visit from Mom

There is a point in life that I have been blessed to get to.  That point is enjoying your Mother's company.  I think we can all get there at different speeds, different time frames, but once we do it is so sweet.  I have appreciated my Mom's company, her presence, for a long time.  We drive each other batty-mad-crazy sometimes but she is also one of my best friends.  Why do I mention this now?  This past weekend, Mom came to visit.

I was pretty excited for her to get here.  This would be the first time she has seen my new home!!!  So, of course, I had preparations to make.  I had not put up curtains yet in the spare room where she would be sleeping so that was first on the list.  I had the above pictured fabric in my stash for I'd say 15 years.  10 at the bare minimum.  And the funny thing is that Mom gave it to me!  I think she still has some?  

I had been saving it to make one of those quilts that you can fold up into a pillow.  The faux quilt squares seemed just perfect for that.  But, I never got around to it.  And then I wasn't sure that's what I wanted to do with it.  Last week when I was considering what I wanted that room to look like, I remembered this fabric!  and it is perfect!  Privacy achieved but also lets in lots of light.

Friday morning I was just toodling around, waiting to go meet her and bring her to my house.  I finally finished these purple striped socks.  Which, by the way, turns out that I put the heel in too soon so they are too low and a bit tight on the inseam.  Boo!  I could rip them back....but I think I'll see if any friends with smaller feet might like them.

I met Mom under this flag in a teeny little California town.  It was a beautiful day and I was so SO relieved that Mom made it safely!  Oy!

I didn't get any pictures while she was here - we were just doing stuff!  no time for pictures!  It was a lovely visit.  The weather was perfect.  Funny thing about that - for us here is was hot, like 75-80 degrees.  But she came up from Chico which is like 100 degrees during the day in the Summer so she was chilly a lot of the time!  ha!  

So my neighborhood has an annual yard sale where tons of houses in the subdivision have a sale, maybe 40 sales?  We didn't get around to all of them but we did have fun and found some goodies at the ones we did get to.  I scored two wooden chairs!  I needed one for my sewing room and one for the desk in the spare oom.  Then, we got back to my house and threw together some stuff quickly that we wanted to get rid of.  It was great.

I grilled kabobs that afternoon and then we indulged in ice cream from DQ.  It was like the perfect Summer evening.

I had such a good time showing my house to Mom, and she really loved it.  One thing she commented on was that my house is cozier than it appears in pictures.  I do love a cozy home so that was nice to hear :)

I took Monday off work, and I'm glad I did.  I was the biggest lazy bones in the world!  I did cast on a new pair of socks but other than that was super lazy.

home, nesting and socks

Last weekend I was in Bend with friends for a ladies retail therapy weekend.  I may have gone a little bit overboard at Hobby Lobby, but that's easy to do there!  I want to do a gallery wall in the dining room and I found a bunch of sayings and scriptures and cute stuff!  Once I get everything up on the walls I'll share pictures.

I finished up these socks this week. I'm really pleased with them!  You can't see the sparkle, but the green yarn has silver stellina in it, which made it fun to knit!  These need to have ends woven in but then they will go in the drawer for cooler weather.  

Rocky was extra lovey when I got back from Bend, he was very snuggly.  One thing that really stood out was that on the way home, I was really looking forward to being *home*.  This house really feels like home for me which is such a great feeling.  

One of the fun things about my new house is finding out what is growing where.  I decided that this first year I will just observe.  I've been learning a lot!  This week the rose bushes in the front bloomed and they are beautiful.  So vibrant and lots of blooms.  I have a lily plant in the front that I think is right about to bloom, can't wait!  I love lilies.  So far, the roses, lilies and rhubarb will stay.  I really want to put in shrubs.  I've seen a couple houses in the neighborhood that have nice small delicate looking shrubs and I think I'd like some like those.

So this week after I finished my green and pink socks, I found I had no projects I wanted to work on.  I have one pair of socks on the needles but I didn't feel like working on them, more on that later.  I do have a cross stitch project but didn't feel like that was it either.   

Suddenly I decided I needed to make a pom pom garland for my mantle!!!  Yes!  I super love how it turned out.  I found that wooden whale up in Bend and had just set it there, and once the garland was on it just looked right.

I have to share this lamp shade that I bought.  A coworker had an estate sale this weekend and had a couple beautiful stained glass lamps.  I technically did not need another lamp, but I saw this dragonfly one and had to have it!  She gave me an amazing deal on it.  I swapped out the shade I already had on this lamp and I really like the way it looks.

This is the pair of socks that I was avoiding working on the other night.  See, the thing is, I had them on magic loop two at a time.  I had already finished past the heels even!  But I've come to realize I just don't like magic loop.  I've also realized that I accomplished what I set out to do which was learn how to knit two socks at a time but I don't have to keep it up if it's not a pleasure. 

You can see a progress keeper, that is how far I've gotten since Friday!  Also, I had been using size 0 hiya hiya sharps, but did not have that size in DPNs.  Well, no, technically I do but the ones I have are too long for my liking.  This set of Knit Pro Zings is the next smallest size I have.  I had ordered them awhile ago and when I got them they were a disappointment.  First, I bought the wrong size.  Then the color was not what had been pictured.  Further, they seemed to have too much drag.  There was like a powdery coating or something and I just did not like them.  So, I set them aside.

But!  Guess what?  I thought I'd give them another chance since I didn't have too far to go to finish these socks.  And the powdery coating has come off the more I knit with them.  And now I really like them!  The funny thing is that my gauge is the same as when I was using the zeros.  So there you go.  

My sewing room is still a disaster zone.  It's really bothering me but I also feel like way overwhelmed by it.  I have too much stuff.  But, it's stuff that I may use and hate to give away because then what if that day comes for that project and I have to repurchase.  The struggle is real.  But I need to get it sorted out quick because my creative energy is getting that pent up feeling and it needs an outlet.  Knitting doesn't do it, it's more just relaxing for me.  I need to sew and quilt and MAKE!  I need to just buckle down and do a little at a time.

long weekend projects

Today is the last day of my long weekend.  It was Memorial day this weekend but I took today off as well to take George into the vet to get her kitty boosters.  I had made the appointment a couple weeks ago, and made the appointment around a lunchtime.  I still have the mindset sometimes that I only live a mile from work and can just run home, the vet and home again on a lunchtime.  My new house is about 20 minutes from the vet's office so a lunchtime would not work!  I have to say I am SO proud of George!  I was wondering how she would do and she didn't try to bite, scratch or anything at all!  Awwww turns out she's sweet after all.

So!  Long weekend!  I had mentioned that I wanted to put shelves in the closets of my sewing room and I thought this weekend would be the perfect time to do it.  I almost chickened out a few times.  So, advice.  I've heard it said before "measure twice, cut once" and that is very true!  I did not measure twice and therefore ended up with too small of shelving pieces.  Boo!

Also good advice: know what setting your drill is on.  There is a button on mine that has forward and backward.  The first screw I attempted I had it on backward so it just kept flipping the screw out instead of screwing it in.  So frustrating!  Until I noticed I had pushed in the backward button.  Doh!

After that it went fairly smoothly.  One piece of wood for the side brackets split down the middle when I screwed it, so I think it must have been a defective piece of wood, or I hit it just right to split it.  I did buy cheap plywood.  Which is strong, but uggggggly!  Initially I thought painting might do the trick but it was so rough and knotty that it wouldn't have looked nice.  Next thought: fabric!  

I covered the shelves after securing them to the side brackets and used my staple gun to adhere the fabric.  It's not perfect, but looks nice and won't snag my stash.  Yesterday I worked on unpacking boxes of fabric and putting them in color order on the shelves.  I have a TON and I do mean a ton of little scraps.  Like two tubs worth.  I didn't have the energy to figure out what to do with those so unfortunately the sewing room is still looking like a disaster zone. Uggg.

I did sort out some fabrics that I don't want and put them in a box.  Stuff that is too thin to quilt with or I just don't really like.  One good thing is that the subdivision I moved to has an annual yard sale, like almost every house has a yard sale and the whole town knows about it.  So, it's free advertising and gets lots of traffic.  I am thinking I can put up a table or two of stuff.  Plus Mom will be visiting that weekend so I let her know in case she wants to pack anything up here.  It will be interesting, for sure!

 This weekend being Memorial day weekend, I knew I wanted to go visit Scott at the cemetery.  Part of his cremains are buried at the National Cemetery in Eagle Point, which is roughly an hour drive from me.  I discovered the first year that they put up little flags on all the headstones.  It is stunning.  It's beautiful, it's sobering.  Also what I discovered that first year is that it is a busy day!  So, I drove over Sunday night when it would be the quietest.  It's been 3 years and I still feel so much better after I go and talk to him. He was my best friend, my confidant.  I used to chatter on about everything to him.  And God bless him, he was such a good listener!  I really miss that.

This is right inside the entrance.

Yesterday I decided to tackle a project that I've kind of been avoiding.  I had a stack of socks that needed either end woven in or holes fixed.  I discovered the hard way that you should not machine wash hand knit socks with other regular laundry items!!!!  Just don't do it.  I have 3 pairs that I had washed all at the same time and something must have caught at each one and ripped a hole in all of them.  I think maybe one sock made it out unscathed...

But, I had never darned socks before.  I found a tutorial online and started to it.  I think, um, it must be an acquired talent?  Yikes!  Mine turned out super rough!  But, I guess the main point is to fix the holes and I definitely did that.  Thankfully I still had leftover bits of all the yarns I used.  The only one that I didn't have the color was the top left sock.  You can see in the beige area the bright pink patch.  Meh.  No one but me is going to notice.

The rest of the afternoon I am just going to chill out and knit or cross stitch!  About cross stitch.  It's funny, I noticed that I really have been wanting to stitch but I'm almost done with my second rhubarb sock - oh yeah, that's what I've started calling my newest pair of socks! - but anyway, I have been very strict with myself that I must finish those before working on anything else.  Why?  I don't even know!  But, I am going to reward myself for mowing the lawn before taking George to the vet with some stitching :)  

I hope you all have a great day, week, and do something that brings you joy!

more nest feathering

Oh my goodness this weekend.  I literally have not left my house.  Ok.  Except I did leave the house to go into the garage because it has a separate door.  Does that count?  Yesterday I thought maybe I'd go to a movie or go into town to rent a movie.  But, then that just felt like too much effort.  ha!    And today has pretty much been the same debate.  Like I know I'll need groceries for the week.  But, driving into town just for that seems lame.  I'll just go after work tomorrow I think.  Save gas.

 I have had human contact other than podcasts, so that's good.  Jan and her daughter came over yesterday afternoon so I could alter a prom dress.  Aye.  Chiffon is really not my favorite.  But, Jan's daughter is teensy tiny, like 5 feet and a size zero, so they got lucky to find a dress that even fit, it's just too long.  It turned out to be easier than I thought but I had them come back over today before I cut.  I was planning a skinny rolled hem so I did the first fold and sewed the liner and the outer dress and had her try it on again.  Then, cut and rolled that hem over to encase the raw edge.  Not hard, just nerve wracking!

Yesterday I put up this little lacy curtain in the kitchen at the top of the window box.  I wanted something that would still allow lots of light in and I think this does that.  I've had a bunch of different sized lace curtains for a lotta of years and this is the first time I've gotten to use them!  The others may not get used though because they are odd lengths.  Like not long enough to cover a window.  That little heart shaped glass is stained glass except the clear part has prism edges.

In other house decorating news I bought a bed for the spare oom!  I need to get some pillows and plain bedspread, maybe a bedskirt and some curtains in there.  Oh and a chair for the desk.  

I found this pillow in a box in the sewing room.  I think I had taken it out to the craft house before I moved to make another pillow case the same size and then packed it in with the fabric!  I'm sure I'm going to find all kinds of random in those boxes!  Here's a little close up, I just love these silly monsters!

In sock knitting this week I am almost to the heel of the second sock in this pair.  I am really loving these socks!  I decided to do stripes on the cuff and I like the way that turned out.  The greeny bluey main color is a much denser yarn which is super squishy!  With my last pair of socks I had written down the number of rows for each section and I have done that with these as well.  Because the yarn is denser I had less rows from the toe to get to the heel.

At the beginning of this week I had my first official dinner guests!  Scott's parents were in town for a couple days so I had them over Monday night for tacos.  It was very special.  I was so happy to share my new house with them!  Back at the rental I had them over for dinner some time after Scott had passed and I did not have a dining room or table to serve a meal at.  I did buy a small table to put in my kitchen so I'd have somewhere to serve from but it was still awkward.  That moment in time was one of the catalysts for me to start looking for a home with a dining room.

Fast forward to this week.  I was so pleased to invite them in, show them around, explain all the features that I love.  And then we shared a meal, visited and enjoyed the evening.  Even cleaning up with Caye was a pleasure.  I know that may sound silly, but for me it's not.  I've learned so much from her, so many little homemakery things that can be taken for granted sometimes.  So, for me to be the hostess and to put in practice things I've watched - it  was nice.  

Next month I'll get to have my Mom visit and that will be a pleasure as well!  My first weekend guest!  I am going to have so much fun showing her my home.   And we are going to plan plants and garden areas.  I'm very much looking forward to it!  

I am hoping to get more progress done in the sewing room, maybe shelves up in the closets and fabric sorted and organized.  I am very much looking forward to getting that room sorted.  The chair in there finally gave up the ghost today.  The legs have been wobbly at best and I did try wood glue but it was a no go!  I feel like I have so many ideas of things I want to make but I need to be able to find the fabric I want to use easily.  And I need to get a design wall set up.  Maybe projects for next weekend?

chores and feelings

I feel like I got a lot done this weekend, mostly chore type stuff I needed to get done.  I've been slowly decorating my new house.  Mostly just waiting to see what areas feel like they need color, you know?  

This little collage is at the end of the hallway where the bedrooms are.  I had kind of thought maybe I'd put a picture there but then I changed my mind.  In the rental I had this arrangement in the kitchen, except the wreath at the bottom was hanging from a cabinet door.

Saturday I did some weed eating in the back yard.  I finished right as it started pouring rain!  Perfect timing.  I did laundry and cleaned up the house, which felt good to do. The wood floors really show how much Rocky and George shed.  I'm so glad I can sweep it up, it's not trapped in carpet.

I also finally blocked my Duchess of Devonshire shawl.  I finished this in February, but that was right as I was packing and really ramping up to move so it got put aside.  I used some Soak wash in an ocean kind of scent.  George, of course, had to be right in the middle of the action!  She cracks me up!

So I bought a bed for the spare 'oom so my Mom can come visit and have somewhere to sleep.  As soon as I set it up George was right on top of it and jumping in the window.  She loves to keep an eye on the neighborhood. Not that there's much action happening, it's a quiet neighborhood.  Which I like.

 I took this picture of the stitches up close because my camera has trouble catching all the colors.  It's really like rainbow colored and vibrant.  One of the greens is like neon.

Sunday was more of the same, little chores around the house.  I really wanted to make some strawberry rhubarb jam.  I was fortunate to have a rhubarb plant already here in the front flower bed when I moved in!  It's quite syrupy right now but I think it may gel up in time.  Not that it will last very long! ha!

I know I've been a bit distant from my blog.  I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.  I don't even know if that's the right word really.  I guess since I can't exactly explain how I feel I haven't felt like anything I say would come out right.  Like not genuine.  I simply can't act very well.  I've been trying to keep the blog light, only talk about crafty stuff or general random stuff.  Which is fine. I don't even know what people want to read, who even reads this blog.  So that's part of it too.  When you don't know your audience it's hard to know what I should say - like am I saying too much?  too personal?  not enough?

Which is funny because when I knew it was just a couple friends and my Mom reading I didn't care what I wrote.  Well.  Except for my Mom, couldn't write too much that might make her worry.  Like after Scott died it would upset her that I was upset.  So then I started trying not to be too dark, too much.  

Here's the thing: I am too much.  I think too much.  I feel too much.  I definitely eat too much!  I talk about my grief too much.  I miss my husband too much.  I miss the life I wanted with him too much.

But lately....especially with this new house, I've felt a slight shift.  Which feels like a betrayal - as if I should worry about that! but it does.  The fact is that I did not die when Scott did.  I felt as though I could have.  When your heart is so wrapped around someone else and they die, your heart shatters.  And implodes.  There are days that I feel I am walking around with a gaping sucking wound where my heart is.  It explodes with pain and then sucks back in on itself again.  It is a horrid feeling that has no relief.  

What do I do with that when I feel like that and everyone around me is normal?  People expect me to be "over" it.  We all know there is no over it.  We all know that but I'm the only one feeling the cavern of my heart.  People say "you're not alone".  People say of course you're not over it.  But there's an impatience I feel from them.  It's like a "it's been 3 years are you still talking about that?" pause I get. It's hard to be around people who can't relate, who don't want to.  Or there are new people who don't even know what happened or who Scott was and explaining sucks.

So I don't even know my point.  I guess just that in between the normal, everyday stuff I still get overwhelmed and set back.  And I've mostly adjusted to that, learned to gloss it over and adapt.  But I also need a space where it's safe to let my feelings out, where no one visibly winces or shrinks away or doesn't know what do, say, or how to handle me.  This blog doesn't shy away from me.  It is freedom to type out my feelings, back space what I don't want to share - but I got it out!  

I am not going to apologize for making any of you uncomfortable.  Unless it's my Mom, ha!  Then, sorry Mom but you know I'll feel better just getting it all out.

chimes

I've been knitting today with the back door open and the sounds of chirping birds and my wind chimes are what I hear.  I was talking to my Mom on the phone earlier and she asked me what the sound in the background was. I didn't realize she could hear the chimes.  She said they sounded magical like they were calling the fairies home.  That, friends, is a typical Mom saying and I don't want to forget it.  What a lovely thing to say, to imagine.

Look how far I've gotten on my socks!  I'm very nearly to the heel.  The light parts in between the darker remind me of two things: an ekg blip and also the frothy part of a wave.